Three in May

To my sweet baby,

I have wanted to write your birth story since we brought you have from the hospital. Life happened and I'm finally getting around to it.

We had moved to Littleton. Your dad had just gotten a job at MillerCoors, which meant we had wonderful insurance. Naturally we wanted to have a baby.

I had taken a friend to see the Royal Gorge Bridge on a slightly windy day but the motion of the bridge was making me feel much more queasy than it should have. I typically have a pretty strong stomach for motion. Over the course the next few days I started to feel an extremely sharp pain that sent me to the bathroom. On multiple occasions I would be huddled in a ball due to the pain. In the mean time I had a new patient exam to find a doctor now that we were in Littleton. I mentioned the pain, he jokingly said that I did not have listeria (there was an outbreak in cantaloupe at the time). He even joked about me being pregnant. He then said I most likely had ovarian cysts and gave me a very strong pain reliever. It didn't help.

After a particularly long evening of pain I got myself up and to the store and to purchase a pregnancy test. I just had a feeling. It was positive. I dug through the trash to find the one I had taken the night before, the one that was negative. It now read positive too. I quickly got the display that I had in my mind ready for your dad.

I wanted to make him breakfast but the oven was "broken."

When he opened it there was a "bun in the oven."

We were overjoyed and a bit shocked since it really had not taken long for us to get pregnant. I continued to experience extreme pain. We weren't scheduled to see an OBGYN for a few weeks. When I explained over the phone my pain I was instructed to go to the hospital. They drew blood and performed an ultrasound. I had one a few days earlier that didn't show a cyst, or a baby. This time it showed what could have been a baby. However, they told us that the hormone numbers were not increasing like they should have been for a successful pregnancy.

We left the hospital with the idea of knowing that there was a chance that this baby would not make it. The pain subsided before my first appointment with my OBGYN. Tim was working so I had to go by myself. When the doctor came in to talk with me after the ultrasound I must have had quite a look on my face. The doctor asked me if I was ok. I wanted this baby, I spent nights praying endlessly for this baby and now here we are, is this baby going to be in my arms in a nine months ... or not? She asked again if I was ok and if we wanted this baby? WHAT? Of course I want this baby. After she learned that my shock, scare and fear was because I had been previously told that this baby might not make it she informed me that everything was looking good. You, our sweet baby were growing right on track.

8 week ultrasound

After our first initial scare, which we still aren't sure the cause of, the pregnancy went quite well. I never got sick. However, I had to eat non-stop to not feel sick for about three months. Bread and canned peaches were my go to!

16 weeks

20 weeks

22 weeks

26 weeks

31 weeks

38 weeks

We went in for a weekly appointment when I was 39 weeks pregnant and were asked when I wanted to be done being pregnant. I was not ready for this question. I agreed to being induced on May 26th, the day before our due date. I didn't want to be induced. We went to bed on the 25th and could hardly sleep. I got up super early to shower and while I showered I missed a call. The ward was busy and they could not take us. I was relieved. Your dad was upset that I agreed to do an induction if that wasn't what I wanted. He liked the idea of knowing when you would come, I can't blame him, waiting was hard. I was upset, I was crying and went up to the gym at our apartment and walked on the treadmill until I couldn't take it any more. I got home and bounced on my ball for what felt like hours. That night I went to bed and when I woke up it was early and I had contractions that were pretty close together. I laid in bed and kept track of them, they were getting closer together and not stopping. I got up and took a shower and got myself ready while I let your dad sleep. I finally called the doctor when the contractions were about 5 minutes apart. When she found out that I had been told I was dilated four centimeters a few days earlier she told me that I needed to get to the hospital, now. I woke up your dad and we got ready to go meet you.

When we got to the hospital I changed into my hospital gown. They checked me as well as monitored me for a little bit. It looked like we were most likely going to be sent home. I requested an exercise ball to sit on, while we waited to see if we would be discharged or not. I had read every single pregnancy book the library had, I was going to do this thing right! Unfortunately I was not giving very good signals while on the ball and was forced to lay on the bed. I knew this was not the position to be in to help labor progress. At one point while on the phone with my mom, your Nana, and I had rolled onto my right side to get comfortable. The nurse came running in and informed me I needed to lay on my back.

You, our sweet baby, weren't responding to contractions. Not only were you not responding, but your heart rate dropped and did not come back up. Knowing what I know now I am so thankful you were my first pregnancy. Had we known that what I was experiencing were most likely Braxton Hicks contractions, we would have probably stayed home. Furthermore, in the days leading up to your birthday I had thought you were simply running out of room and that was why you weren't moving around as often as you once had been. At some point in this time frame I had told Nana and Papa they should probably get in the car and head to the hospital. Little did I know we would have you before they got there. We were going to be taken back for an emergency C-Section. Once that decision was made we were whisked back to the operating room before I could even call your Nana again, I had wanted another chance to tell her I loved her, but I didn't get one.

We entered the operating room at 12:34 in the afternoon. I was sitting up to be given my spinal block when I had a contraction come on. The anesthesiologist said I seemed tense, I informed her I was having a contraction. My original birth plan was to have you without an epidural, a needle in the back was not what I wanted. Since I had no choice I certainly was not going to move even a fraction of an inch while it was being inserted! I focused on your daddy in front of me, I was so glad he was there.

With your dad by my side the doctors and nurses all introduced themselves to me as they quickly ran about the room. I asked if I was exposed from the waste down at the time (the curtain was already up so I could not see), I was. Wonderful, I really had to laugh off the fact that I was meeting people while they were seeing all of me.

We were asked one last time what we thought your gender was. We both answered, "A boy." Then just as quickly as we had entered the operating room there you were! Your dad looked at you first and then looked at me and excitedly announced, "It's a ... a girl!" I think my exact words were, "Really?!" It was all I could get out because I was in such shock of the whole situation. You took a few minutes, or so it seemed, to let out a cry. Once you did I was able to feel some relief. I could see you to my right while they were checking your vitals. I could see your feet and counted all ten toes (a silly thing to do since they were all accounted for during your anatomy ultrasound). Again, more relief. Then your dad brought you over to me and I was able to hold you, my baby, for the first time.

Karoline Christelle Reed, 7lbs 10oz 20.75 inches, born at 1p.m. on May 27, 2012.

I remember everything about this moment, and I tear up just looking at this picture.

The doctor finished up everything with me while your dad watched over you, sweet girl. Then we all were rolled to the recovery room, together. When I got to hold you again I said, "Hi Karoline Christelle." The name we had picked out for you, it fit and was perfect.

While in the recovery room I realized that I hadn't called my brother, your Uncle Scottie, or texted him. He was the only one that didn't know we were headed to the hospital to have you! Of course Nana and Papa told him but I was not coherent enough to think of that. I'm not sure how but I ended up with my phone and called him (those spinal tap drugs sure do mess with you a bit). He was the first person to find out that you were a GIRL and that your name was Karoline Christelle. Right at that time your grandparents walked into the recovery room and over heard. That's how they found out. Not exactly how I had it planned out in my mind, but perfect none the less.

The following days in the hospital were a blur. We had visitors. I attempted to learn how to feed you. You had your first bath. You slept in your dads arms the entire first night and on my chest the second. We went home after two days. That night your dad went and got Subway for me and a Domino's Pizza for himself. I remember you sat on your bouncer chair on the ground in front of us while we ate dinner. We were now parents to the most beautiful little girl.

You were so calm during your first bath.

I love the look on your dad's face.

A few days later we were told that my placenta had "expired" and you weren't getting the oxygen you needed. Thank the Lord that we went to the hospital when we did. We are forever grateful that you came into this world a beautiful and healthy baby girl.

So many memories and so much fun with you our sweet girl.

We had your first birthday party at the zoo!

Your daddy sure is a a handsome daddy...

You became a big sister...

You turned two ...

We had a ladybug themed birthday party for you in Canon City.

Everyone told me not to, but I blinked and you are three, THREE. I can't even begin to understand where the time has gone. Leading up to your third birthday people would ask, "How old are you going to be?" You would put your tiny precious thumb and pointer finger together and make the "OK" sign and hold up your three little fingers and reply, "Three in May." You are an amazing young lady with such a fun personality. You are one of my most favorite people to spend time with. When I wake up in the morning and hear that you are awake I am grateful that I get to spend another day with you. Another day to try and be the mama you need. I don't always get it right, sometimes (more often than I should) I get it wrong. We are learning together my dear sweet first born. My goal has been and always will be to be the mom that you need me to be.