As our days go on we are finding comfort in our routine and our lives as a family of four. There are days that go quite well. The good days are starting to outnumber the rough ones.
Right now I am being serenaded by upside down Easter buckets and a collection of wooden sticks (you can listen on Instagram: @jamiereed26). I'm not going crazy or begging for the noise to stop. I think I've become numb. Maybe it's this numbness, or maybe it's knowing they are content and happy, that brought this new idea into my head. The idea that I could handle a third child. Not even handle, but want... at times. The crazy part is that it's not even three in my head it's four. When I pictured my life I pictured four kids. I always wanted an SUV (rookie move, I now know the awesomeness of the mini-van) and two kids in each row of seats.
Alexandra's first year of life was much easier than this last year has been. There are now two little girls with opinions and voices. In this last year we have asked ourselves numerous times, "What were we thinking?" Or have said, "Two kids, that's it." Even with knowing the crazy, non-stop life of two kids in two years I still have a part of me that is aching, as I also beam with joy, as my babies grow into little people.
I think this is where God built in a back up plan with, "Be fruitful and multiply." In my head two kids makes total sense. We can afford the needs of two kids, and most of the wants. Our house holds 4 people, we fit at a standard table, I have enough love for two kids and enough arms and hands. I've given away a lot of baby things, we are so close to being done with diapers. Yet, I know that with any additional baby or even a chance of a baby my heart would grow and life without said baby wouldn't even be imaginable. While two kids makes total sense there are those moments, usually about once or twice a month (dumb hormones), that make me think that we are missing a piece.
I don't know how many babies we will have. Maybe we are done with our two, they are pretty darn awesome. This topic is ever present and I think about it daily. It's amazes me that not even days after having a baby a mom gets the question, "Are you going to have any more?" At that point in time my most favorite response is, "We're taking it one at a time."
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
