I’ve had the urge to write lately and I’ve had more and more thoughts in my head for stories to write. Yet, before I can do this I have to be able to write something to completion. I’m opting for a quick little update on our life.
Right now someone is shooting off fireworks that I can see outside my new north facing back window. I’m sitting in our rental house that has new carpet, yet still smells like an old house. Part of me is tempted to use fabric softener, candles and every single trick in the chemical book to make it go away. And yet, so much of me is terrified of endocrine disruptors that instead I’ve added all the things to my cart to make a natural smell eliminator.
It’s been one month since we first started moving and only just this past Sunday did it feel like we were truly home. Granted, it still looks like an aisle of Hobby Lobby in front of me, I need to decide what to hang in this house and what to just keep in storage. Part of me doesn’t want to hang anything, part of me wants to hang it all… mostly so I don’t have to store it and also because my girls are going to live their 11th and 13th year in this house and I want them to remember it fondly.
As of today Tim and I have read half way through our Bible in a year and I am beyond thankful for this routine that has grounded me and strengthened my own faith. Not only have I experienced growth, but our marriage has benefited greatly from this routine as well. We also listen to our church's morning prayer together via Facebook Live. These routines are something that I cherish. Spending this time together is valuable.
Both the girls seem to be adjusting ok. Karoline recently got back from her first T1D camp. She had fun, but she was quite homesick and felt abandoned. It makes me sick thinking about how she felt. I myself was and am quite the homebody. Alex has had headaches for quite some time and she has started complaining about them more and more. We are going to get some blood work done on Thursday to see if we can figure out what is going on. I’m pretty worried about her and would appreciate your prayers for her, for answers and for really easy solutions.
If you’ve read this far you deserve to know the rest of what I want to tell you. For Mother’s Day I got myself another Apple Watch and I’ve been wearing it more and more frequently. In the last two weeks I’ve had a harder time taking deep breaths. This is a fun little symptom my body likes to take on when I’m overwhelmed. I’m not sure if this is related to the constant connection that the watch brings. Maybe? When I try to think of why this overwhelming feeling is happening the biggest one is that I want more slow days. I simply want more summer. It’s so fleeting, it will be gone before I know it and the cold and dark will be back and I just need more summer in my life. And nearly half of my summer (and the girls’) was spent moving, and unpacking and repacking for new carpet and unpacking. In the moment I was able to be positive and thankful that with all of the moving came a lot of time with my family. That really was a blessing. I also know summer is a season and it’s ok if in this season of change for our family if we didn’t get to do all the things we normally get to do. It’s ok if I didn’t optimize all of my time to be outside time. It’s ok if I’m not as tan as I have been in the summers of the past.
With each new season there is beauty and I do recognize and appreciate them all. With just about one month left of summer break, in which I will spend five days at training, I vow to be slower. To say no to more so that I can say yes to more games and making homemade coffee. To paint the table I want to paint. To write more. I really want to write a book. I have started so many and never finished them. I want to explore a potential new outlet for helping my husband and our future.
So, here’s to making lists that sit for a little while. Ones that are ok to grow at a faster rate than they get checked off. Here’s to saying yes to random excursions when we want to. But the biggest, “Here’s to,” I’ve got to stick to is staying in the moment. When I can stay in the moment I don’t need five or six attempts while sitting in a movie to take a deep breath. “Elio,” is really cute by the way.
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