Today

Today was a day of mourning and realization for our nation. In light of the shooting that took place in CT today I have realized a few things about myself.

Facebook today was filled with posts about the sorrow and expression of hopes and prayers for the families of those who lost their sweet babies and family members.

I feel like I could write page after page about the different aspects of today. But, instead I will focus on what I have found to be the most important thing for me today. I saw several posts made by mothers who wished they could go get their child from school and spend the day with them. Right away my first instinct was to say, do it. Go get your child. Go hold them tight and go to the park and play and love and laugh. I know there are always things that you can do tomorrow, but today taught us that sometimes tomorrow doesn't come. So, for us tonight our daughter will sleep in our room. This is something that hasn't happened in a few months. But, if this simple thing will help us sleep better and will provide a little comfort then why not.

When I was at the store with Karoline tonight I found myself more aware of everyone around me and the amount of time I would spend away from her on a normal trip to the store. She is never out of arms reach but in the few seconds it takes me to grab an item I don't have a hand on her. I know that I can't always keep a hand on her. This scares me and makes me realize that I have to teach her to be aware of her surroundings just like my mom taught me. My mom literally made me fear the what if, but I credit that fear of the what if for making me who I am today. I take risks when I am almost certain of the outcome. That outcome is always a good or positive thing. I leave the unknown and wrong risks to fall by the wayside.

I hope and pray that the families who have lost loved ones in this horrific tragedy and in the tragedies that have happened earlier in this year find a way to move on. I pray that they know they will see their babies and family members again. I pray that they have the faith to know in their heart that they are in a better place.