Over the years I have learned that I love hard and feel loss deeply, I know many do. My heart breaks for every wife who loses her husband and for every family who has to endure the grief of losing someone they love. Grief looks different for each of us and strikes at different times, and it is never easy.
Every life taken is a tragedy that leaves a ripple of pain behind. When my family experiences grief, it is heavy. Heavy, often, and forever. When my students experience a loss, it is heavy. This weekend I prayed to understand why the national heartbreak of the last few days has hit me so deeply. From a terrible train ride, when I saw the video I didn’t know who the woman was. Though I should have, her life mattered. Furthermore, she should never have died alone. To a school shooting, far too close to home. I feel deeply for the families whose loss is permanent, and for the students and teachers who now fear returning to school, their lives forever changed. To a tragic assassination, and to all of the loss that never reached mainstream news… my heart has hurt.
I have tried to understand what made my response to Charlie Kirk’s death have magnitude, because it pierced my soul so deeply. I think it was because it happened so publicly and in such a graphic way… something most families are not forced to endure. This does not lessen the pain of other losses, and it does remind us how fragile and precious life is. We need compassion for one another in moments like these. Especially in a week that held so many trials.
This weekend I was blessed by time with my family, uninterrupted and spent in nature. My heart has broken and filled over and over again these last few days. I am only one person, one who prays for understanding and truth. I needed deep personal reflection to understand the emotions I was feeling, to know how to process them and move forward, all while aiming to do better and to be better. In the end, I may never fully understand the depth of these emotions or the reasons behind such loss, in any capacity. I trust that God does. My prayer is that He continues to guide my heart toward compassion, understanding, and love. And that He brings comfort and healing to every soul who grieves.
I have tried to understand what made my response to Charlie Kirk’s death have magnitude, because it pierced my soul so deeply. I think it was because it happened so publicly and in such a graphic way… something most families are not forced to endure. This does not lessen the pain of other losses, and it does remind us how fragile and precious life is. We need compassion for one another in moments like these. Especially in a week that held so many trials.
This weekend I was blessed by time with my family, uninterrupted and spent in nature. My heart has broken and filled over and over again these last few days. I am only one person, one who prays for understanding and truth. I needed deep personal reflection to understand the emotions I was feeling, to know how to process them and move forward, all while aiming to do better and to be better. In the end, I may never fully understand the depth of these emotions or the reasons behind such loss, in any capacity. I trust that God does. My prayer is that He continues to guide my heart toward compassion, understanding, and love. And that He brings comfort and healing to every soul who grieves.
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