Alexandra: You&#39;re One!

Alexandra,

On the night before you turn one my mind is full of emotions and memories of where we were one year ago. We had already spent the day in the hospital. I'd walked halls relentlessly. Your dad had applied counter pressure until his hands were sore. I knew that if there was any way I was going to have the energy to have you the old fashion way I was going to need to sleep. After an epidural I was able to sleep a little. Who are we kidding, I don't even remember sleeping, why must the blood pressure cuff alarm go off every time you fall asleep? Furthermore, for the love of my veins, if you ever have another sibling I will not rest until my IV is in a location in which I can actually move my hand without excruciating pain!

Something special with the moon happened that night, far be it for me to remember what exactly, a blood moon, maybe? Morning came and my dream of the birth date of 4/14/14 for you slipped away.

Still no baby, but my doctor was present and we felt much more at ease about a repeat c-section.

8:52 a.m.: Your dad told me, "It's a ...a, GIRL!" You were a beautiful baby girl, 7 pounds, 15 oz and 19.5 inches long. I asked your dad if your name fit, he said it did. There you were, Alexandra Elizabeth Reed.

You were a calm baby, just like my pregnancy. You were and are beautiful. I was so happy to enjoy every moment of loving you.

Here we are, one year later. When I think about everything that we've done in the past year I am amazed. You taught me not to second guess my instincts. We survived food allergies, together. You were a driving force for our family to eat much more healthy than we already were. You gave us structure. You taught us patience. You slept by me, on me and in a carrier. You smiled whenever anyone smiled at you. My heart beams with joy as I watch you learn how to walk, play and be an adorable little person. I'm sorry that I'm not as sentimental as some and that you may not always have had on the cutest outfits or bows. There are so many creative things I had wanted to do that went out the window when life happened. You won't have a cute "smash" cake at your birthday party. However, you will always have my love, all of it. I am thankful and honored that I get to be your mom. I will strive to be the best one that I can be, for you. You are, and always will be, one of my most precious treasures.