I'd Never

I thought I would compile a list of things that I thought I would never do... And, then I became a mom.

• I'd never let my daughter go out in public with messy hair. One time I looked down in the check out of the store and sure enough, I forgot to do her hair. Further more, even when I do do her hair, her carseat usually makes it look just as messy as it was before it was done. 
• I'd never let my girls leave the house with out a bow in their hair/on their heads. I try really hard to keep bows in their hair or on their heads. When I saw the little dent lines on their heads as newborns this quickly went out the window. However, I do still adore bows on their heads and try pretty hard to keep them in/on their hair.
• I'd never let my kid eat candy. My husband wanted peanut M&M's in the house (I don't like chocolate). Karoline usually has one every day.
• I'd never bribe my child with candy. Yea, this happens, I can't deny it. 
• I'd never let my kids watch TV. For about a month Karoline asked for, "Elsa," every day. Thankfully that stage is over and she never did sit and zone out and actually watch it. Usually it was just on as background noise. But, it was still on. 
• I'd never yell at my child. I have. I'm not proud of this. I often pray that I will learn to communicate and love my child first and take the time to discipline with a purpose instead of reacting. 
• I'd never let my child tell me, "No." She does, a lot, we're working on it. We promote, "No thank you." 
• I'd never be able to be mad at my children. Did I mention that she says, "No," a lot?! I did not realize that I could get upset with a small little person. The same little person that I love whole heartedly and would do anything for including laying down my own life for. This again is an area in which I pray often about. 
• I would never let a baby sleep in my bed. Karoline was in our bed a couple times. Alexandra slept in our bed for about a month and then slept with us the last few hours of the morning for a few more months. I loved it, it helped me to feel like I was getting some time with just her, even if we were just sleeping. 
• I'd never put my girls in matching outfits. This was more so a request from my husband. But, we happened to have these onsies that were both hand me downs, how could I not put them in them on the same day!
• I'd never put social media in front of my kids. As a stay at home mom my communication and time in the outside world is quite a bit less than it used to be. Social media was a way to have interaction with other adults and to know what was going in in the lives of others with out having to call each one individually. 

That last bullet point had been on my heart for quite some time. I was always against missing out on time with my girls thanks to social media, who isn't? It sounds so dumb that this was even an issue for me to begin with. But, there were some mornings that the first thing I would do, before I even got out of bed was scroll through a news feed to see what was going on, in other people's lives. Now, don't get me wrong, social media like Facebook and Instagram truly are a wonderful tool if they are used right. But, in the last six months I came to realize that when I was looking at Facebook I felt that the time I pulled away from my life and my family was being replaced by so much junk. Junk that did not leave me feeling like my time was well spent. Further more, there were times where I would be sitting with my sweet Karoline and I would be focused on my phone, not her. This isn't to say that I feel like she needs 100% of my attention all the time. However, I do feel like by being engaged in scrolling through my phone I was conveying to her that just sitting with her was not enough. 

After Alexandra was born I took the Facebook app off my phone. When we were out of town for a few days I put it back on my phone. Upon returning home I fell back into my old ways of scrolling through the pages. I quickly removed the app once more. Again, I feel like it's so funny that this was even an issue. With the app on my phone it was just all too accessible and such an easy way to waste time. As a mom of two little girls time is a valuable asset to me.

Further more, not only was I taking time from my kids, I was robbing time from myself. I was able to find plenty of time for social media. But, I was not finding or taking the time rather for time with my bible and devotional. We tried a new church a few weeks ago (that we love) and the pastor had a message just for me. He said that in his life he has been focusing on the following: "When you're working, be working. When you're resting, rest." He said that for himself, aimlessly scrolling through Facebook was neither. I feel the same way. I do understand that for some it is restful to catch up with friends and family and there are times that I do enjoy that as well, when the time is right.

Now I start my day with devotional and bible. I do not open up a single app on my phone (unless it is my new bible app that reads to me, love it) until I have been able to have my quiet time. 

Just to drive the message home, I really do feel like this is such a silly problem. One that stay at home moms of the 50s would laugh at I am sure of it. However, it had been on my heart for quite some time. For all of you that stick out this post and read it to the end (thanks by the way) I have a goal in mind for you. If there's something in your life that you feel like you are devoting to much time to and it isn't having a positive impact on your life, cut it out. I've cut out using Facebook on my phone, as well as while my girls are awake. The difference in my day is not one that would be viewed as grand but, I can honestly say that I am a happier in the sense that I'm no longer wasting time. When I get onto Facebook, I get on, look at a few friends and family members pages to see pictures of cute kiddos and that's it. There's no aimless scrolling or time sucking. 

September 3,

"LET THE DEW OF MY PRESENCE refresh your mind and heart. So many, many things vie for your attention in this complex world of instant communication. The world has changed enormously since I first gave the command to be still and know that I am God. However, this timeless truth is essential for the well-being of your soul. As dew refreshes grass and flowers during the stillness of the night, so My Presence revitalizes you as you sit quietly with Me." -Jesus Calling, Sarah Young

For God is not the author of confusion but of peace, as in all the churches of the saints. 

- 1 Corinthians 14:33 NKJV