Being a Mom Stinks

Yes, of course the title of this blog is misleading, I don't actually think being a mom stinks. With that being said I do have to explain why I chose this title.

Early this morning my sweet 5 week old baby had signs that she had caught the cold that her sister and I have. Karoline has only been sick twice in her life up until now. I openly admit that I am and always will be a germaphobe and am a bit of a cleaning-aholic. Not only that but when Karoline was born we did not go anywhere or do anything for 6 weeks. We had very few guests and those who came were over the age of 12.

I let my guard down. I was persuaded for a number of different reasons to allow my baby to be around other people on two different occasions. Once we went with Karoline to her library story time after she asked, "Mama go too? Please?" I mean, seriously how do you say no to that. And then we also had a family day.

Who knows how the cold got into our house. For all I know it could have been allergies that turned into a cold. Either way I was pretty upset with myself that any of us got sick. And to top it all off, my poor sweet tiny baby girl has it too. Oh, and did I mention my that my husband doesn't have a spleen so the common cold is potentially deadly not only for my tiny baby but my husband as well. Great. My germaphobia is making more sense now isn't it.

This morning while I was letting Tim sleep in, with hopes that he will kick this with out needing to go to the doctor, I was beside myself. How did I let this happen to my baby. Thankfully Alexandra was sleeping at this time and I was able to read my daily devotional. The basic entry went something like this, "Whatever your circumstance, accept it and move on. Give it over to Me." Shortly after I received a phone call back from a nurse at our doctors office who informed me that there was no reason to worry unless Alexandra were to have trouble breathing or a fever. Between the two I was able to find a bit of peace.

I was able to come up with the notion that there are babies, lots of them, bless their hearts who have are far worse off than my babies ever will be. And those babies have colds and much worse to deal with and they end up just fine. I had to tell myself that if for some reason, God forbid anything should ever happen to one of my babies that I would know that I have done my best. So, see being a mom really does stink. The extreme amount of worry that can over come you is overwhelming and at times overbearing. I can't even begin to think about those poor kiddos who are worse off. I can't watch a sad movie that has anything to do with children without completely losing it. The list of what goes on in my mind in relation to worrying about my children could go on and on. It's horrible. But, this is where I am extremely thankful for my faith. I know that if I have faith there is no room for worry because it is out of my hands. I have to admit that I am human and I have a hard time not seeing the worry. However, I'm thankful that with every new day as I walk in my relationship with God I am able to turn to Him first more often. As a parent I get to see a mere glimpse of how much He loves us and it is remarkable. I am so thankful and we are so blessed.

As I'm typing this my oldest baby is coughing while she tries to sleep. The duty of a mom never ends, I'm off to give my sweet girl some honey. I hope that anyone who chooses to read this will find it in their heart to pray for all of the babies and children suffering from colds or illness. I can only imagine how scary it is as a small child to not feel well. And if you would, pray for the parents too, it's even harder on us to see our babies be sick.

Good night all.